I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
