fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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