I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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