i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
