Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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