Do you still have your period?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
