I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
