yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
