You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
