i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
