I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
