I want to have your abortion
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
