so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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