Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
