Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
