I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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