Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
