i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
