Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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