Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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