Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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