all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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