Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
