i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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