Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
