Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
