Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
