Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Too much gin, very little bucket
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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