I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
