You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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