Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
