i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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