i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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