so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
