I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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