I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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