When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
