Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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