I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
