i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
