Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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