careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
