$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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