She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
