hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
