You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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