Ambien. No doubt about it.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
