im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
