yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
