I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
